They say Lauren became an angel today. They say Lauren is now in heaven visiting with her grandparents and playing softball. They say Lauren is now happy, healthy, pain-free, with no more need for drugs and needles.
I wish with all my heart and soul that I could believe all of these statements. I wish I too believed in angels, heaven, and all the glorious stories about how wonderful it is up there. But, I do not, and it is not too easy in my age to change my beliefs. The pain we are all feeling is real and devastating. It is true that our dear little Lauren is finally free of pain. Her suffering is finally over. How we all wish her life story would not have ended here prematurely, two months short of her 14th birthday. This is so unbelievably unfair. Lauren was denied the chance to experience life fully. Just as she was blossoming as an intelligent, beautiful young lady, her body was viciously attacked for the third time by one of the worst enemies of the mankind: Cancer. She had been battling this dreadful disease, on and off, ever since she was 4.5 years old. Despite her tough battles with cancer, Lauren managed to maintain a positive attitude towards life, to make many friends, and to touch many hearts.
What right do I have to complain about life? I, who have been lucky enough to be able to experience so many happy events in life that Lauren never would: high-school graduation, college, career, love, marriage, babies, breast-feeding, watching your children grow, birthdays, weddings, travelling, on and on. Our little Lauren will miss out on all of these wonderful life experiences, and her dear grieving parents, who will miss her terribly until their last breath. Why does life have to be so cruel and hard to bear? Why can’t children be spared the unjustness of a premature death? Why do they have to suffer so?
Lauren suffered so much in her short life but all the children who she befriended over the years, including her little brother and my daughter, will forever be affected by this sudden loss of a loved one at a young age. Some say it would be good for them: they will get a better perspective on life! I say: no, spare the children; life has enough sadness and grief in store for adults during their lifetime. Children should be shielded from pain and misery for as long as possible. Children should be able to have happy childhoods and grow up with an optimistic attitude towards life. Children exposed to too much grief and sadness may develop very pessimistic views of life and not find it worth living.
Most children who knew Lauren are grieving tonight, shedding tears for their friend whose heart gave up and stopped beating this morning. They most likely are text-messaging each other, or chatting on-line, with teary eyes. For the majority of them, their innocent hearts were touched by the first real experience of loss – one of life’s darkest and saddest experiences. A few of these children like my daughter, who had formed a close friendship with Lauren, will suffer for a longer time. I hope all of them make it through this difficult time without becoming permanently scarred psychologically or falling into depression.
I can not imagine the pain that Laruen’s parents are going through at the moment. If Lauren is indeed in heaven now, her parents must be in hell, experiencing life’s most painful feelings. Peace be with them. How can one console a parent who has lost a child? Only time might lessen this enormous pain.
I remember reading my dad’s memoir a few years ago and his very emotional recollection of the sudden death of his 16-year-old brother to Diphtheria. He wrote so passionately about an incident that had happened 50 years ago that I, as the reader of his writings, could not help sobbing uncontrollably – as if I had been there and had experienced this loss first-hand! After reading about this tragic event in my dad’s early life, I wished my grandparents were alive so I could give them a really big hug for all the pain they had gone through in losing two of their beloved children, one to Diphtheria, the other to Leukemia, just like Lauren. I so wish I could go over to Lauren’s house right now and give her parents a big hug. They are such brave, strong, and determined parents for having supported Lauren in fighting for her life in the last nine years. John and Jill have endured so much since Lauren’s first diagnosis with cancer that, in my opinion, they have earned the privilege of retiring early to a nice relaxing sunny beach by the ocean. They truly deserve it. If I were a millionaire, I would surely have made this into a reality and taken care of Lauren’s suffering parents and brother for the rest of their life. Any parent who has endured the loss of a child, ought to be treated with utmost respect, care, and attention for the rest of his/her life because he/she now holds a very delicate, fragile heart in his/her chest.
I will miss seeing Lauren at our house, coming up the stairs, eating breakfast at the kitchen table, experimenting with makeup and new hairstyles,… I already miss her so much that my heart aches… Her memory will be cherished forever by me and my daughter and the others who loved her.
Our hearts were truly touched by an angel. Lauren will be immensely missed by all of us who had the honor and pleasure of knowing this wonderful, beautiful angel with brown hair and hazel-green eyes.
Peace be with John, Jill, Ben, Lauren’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and her many friends. Watch over them Lauren from wherever you are my dear. You are loved by us all.
We will never forget you.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
I wish with all my heart and soul that I could believe all of these statements. I wish I too believed in angels, heaven, and all the glorious stories about how wonderful it is up there. But, I do not, and it is not too easy in my age to change my beliefs. The pain we are all feeling is real and devastating. It is true that our dear little Lauren is finally free of pain. Her suffering is finally over. How we all wish her life story would not have ended here prematurely, two months short of her 14th birthday. This is so unbelievably unfair. Lauren was denied the chance to experience life fully. Just as she was blossoming as an intelligent, beautiful young lady, her body was viciously attacked for the third time by one of the worst enemies of the mankind: Cancer. She had been battling this dreadful disease, on and off, ever since she was 4.5 years old. Despite her tough battles with cancer, Lauren managed to maintain a positive attitude towards life, to make many friends, and to touch many hearts.
What right do I have to complain about life? I, who have been lucky enough to be able to experience so many happy events in life that Lauren never would: high-school graduation, college, career, love, marriage, babies, breast-feeding, watching your children grow, birthdays, weddings, travelling, on and on. Our little Lauren will miss out on all of these wonderful life experiences, and her dear grieving parents, who will miss her terribly until their last breath. Why does life have to be so cruel and hard to bear? Why can’t children be spared the unjustness of a premature death? Why do they have to suffer so?
Lauren suffered so much in her short life but all the children who she befriended over the years, including her little brother and my daughter, will forever be affected by this sudden loss of a loved one at a young age. Some say it would be good for them: they will get a better perspective on life! I say: no, spare the children; life has enough sadness and grief in store for adults during their lifetime. Children should be shielded from pain and misery for as long as possible. Children should be able to have happy childhoods and grow up with an optimistic attitude towards life. Children exposed to too much grief and sadness may develop very pessimistic views of life and not find it worth living.
Most children who knew Lauren are grieving tonight, shedding tears for their friend whose heart gave up and stopped beating this morning. They most likely are text-messaging each other, or chatting on-line, with teary eyes. For the majority of them, their innocent hearts were touched by the first real experience of loss – one of life’s darkest and saddest experiences. A few of these children like my daughter, who had formed a close friendship with Lauren, will suffer for a longer time. I hope all of them make it through this difficult time without becoming permanently scarred psychologically or falling into depression.
I can not imagine the pain that Laruen’s parents are going through at the moment. If Lauren is indeed in heaven now, her parents must be in hell, experiencing life’s most painful feelings. Peace be with them. How can one console a parent who has lost a child? Only time might lessen this enormous pain.
I remember reading my dad’s memoir a few years ago and his very emotional recollection of the sudden death of his 16-year-old brother to Diphtheria. He wrote so passionately about an incident that had happened 50 years ago that I, as the reader of his writings, could not help sobbing uncontrollably – as if I had been there and had experienced this loss first-hand! After reading about this tragic event in my dad’s early life, I wished my grandparents were alive so I could give them a really big hug for all the pain they had gone through in losing two of their beloved children, one to Diphtheria, the other to Leukemia, just like Lauren. I so wish I could go over to Lauren’s house right now and give her parents a big hug. They are such brave, strong, and determined parents for having supported Lauren in fighting for her life in the last nine years. John and Jill have endured so much since Lauren’s first diagnosis with cancer that, in my opinion, they have earned the privilege of retiring early to a nice relaxing sunny beach by the ocean. They truly deserve it. If I were a millionaire, I would surely have made this into a reality and taken care of Lauren’s suffering parents and brother for the rest of their life. Any parent who has endured the loss of a child, ought to be treated with utmost respect, care, and attention for the rest of his/her life because he/she now holds a very delicate, fragile heart in his/her chest.
I will miss seeing Lauren at our house, coming up the stairs, eating breakfast at the kitchen table, experimenting with makeup and new hairstyles,… I already miss her so much that my heart aches… Her memory will be cherished forever by me and my daughter and the others who loved her.
Our hearts were truly touched by an angel. Lauren will be immensely missed by all of us who had the honor and pleasure of knowing this wonderful, beautiful angel with brown hair and hazel-green eyes.
Peace be with John, Jill, Ben, Lauren’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and her many friends. Watch over them Lauren from wherever you are my dear. You are loved by us all.
We will never forget you.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
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