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Thursday, July 31, 2014

The Brave Little Girl Called, "Shahdi"..

Even as a toddler Shahdi exhibited exceptional qualities. Apart from being a bundle of joy, active, happy, full of life and energy, and fun, she was very determined and self-confident.  Before we even started potty-training her, she decided to potty-train herself. Frankly, we did not have to do much in teaching her how to do it. She was so intelligent that she had figured it out on her own that it would be more convenient for her to transition from diapers to toilets!  She had just started saying a few words when she started weaning herself off of diapers. The way she did it was really funny too. When it was time to change her diaper, she would sit on the floor and undo her dirty diaper. Then she would get a new diaper from her changing table (of course after she was wiped clean by us), open the diaper, lay it flat on the floor, sit in its center, pull the front up with her hands, lie down on her back, and fasten the  side tabs.  Voila!  The diaper was changed and all WE had to do was wiping her clean after she first took off the used diaper.  Shortly afterwards, she figured out that it would make her life a lot easier if she used the toilet instead of the diaper, and in no time, she was completely potty-trained! She didn't have to use the training pants for very long because she learned quickly how to use the bathroom properly at night as well. She was a very smart girl and had total confidence in her own abilities. When she wanted to do something, nothing could stop her from achieving her goal.


I remember an incident that occurred aboard a TWA flight to Orlando when Shahdi had just turned two.  By this time, Shahdi had been fully potty-trained for a while; however, to play it safe, we had put a diaper on her (against her will) for the trip. Halfway through the flight, she said she needed to go to the bathroom. Mehrdad took her there, but they returned rather quickly, apparently because the roar of the engines in the back of the plane had frightened Shahdi and she had refused to use the bathroom due to the noise. At this point, Mehrdad and I encouraged her to go in her diaper but she refused. Within a few minutes, she was in tears. She needed to go but could not do it in her diaper because she found that unacceptable.  After all, she had potty-trained herself. To make the long story short, after ten minutes of intense arguments with the flight attendants over their refusal to let a crying 2-year-old use the bathroom in the first-class section (which was quiet and far from the engines), one of them finally gave in and let Shahdi relieve herself in the first-class toilet, even though she did not have a first-class ticket!  How absurd was that indeed!!  This unpleasant incident left such a lasting mark on me that overshadowed my entire vacation, and as soon as I returned home, I filed a complaint with TWA, which was acknowledged by the airline. We subsequently got a letter of apology along with some vouchers, which we gave away to relatives because we had no intentions to fly with TWA ever again. And now, TWA is history!

Three years after the incident mentioned above, when Shahdi was five, we were vacationing in Mexico and went to a beautiful national park which had the most beautiful natural lagoon, filled with colorful exotic fish. We were supposed to go snorkeling in the lagoon and we had the snorkels, mouth pieces, and fins. Shahdi put hers on quickly, stood by the edge of the lagoon, took one long look at the fish, and without any hesitation or second thoughts, jumped in!  I was in awe seeing how effortlessly and bravely she had jumped into a lagoon filled with strange fish, not knowing how deep it was or what other kind of marine life could be under the surface. I, on the other hand, was standing by the lagoon's side, trying to gather up enough courage to get in the water! It was not as easy as one might think. I generally do not lack courage in most situations, but swimming with a variety of fish in a real lagoon was completely out of my comfort zone!  I was reminded of Tarzan and Jane in their lagoon!  Anyway, after Mehrdad and Arman went in too, I found it quite embarrassing to be the only one still standing on the sidelines. So, I mustered all my courage and jumped in too. I am so glad I did because it was the most wonderful swim I had ever done in my life, to be in the habitat of the fish and to be able to swim fast with the help of the fins, and watch all the beauty under the surface of water through the snorkels. It was an incredible experience!

Again, a couple of years forward, when Shahdi was about seven years old, I signed up the kids and myself for ice-skating lessons. On the very first day, when we put our skates on and were standing by the side of the ice-skating rink trying to figure out where our classes were, someone told Shahdi where her group was. She put one foot on the ice, then the other, took off and reached her group within seconds without falling down once! I was amazed at how she had figured out to ice skate even though that was her first time on the ice!  She advanced quickly in her lessons and ended up participating in the final ice show of the season. I know somewhere we have that video but I have not yet come across it.


As a child, Shahdi was the picture of confidence, responsibility and independence. I remember thinking to myself when she was 2.5 years old that I did not have to worry about her because she was smart, with a strong and confident character, and would undoubtedly succeed in life.  When she was ten, I was confident that if we had sent Shahdi to college then, she would have been successful because she had good principles and great qualities, which would have enabled her to succeed.  How premature my thoughts were! I never would have guessed in a million years that a happy, confident, driven toddler/child would turn into an unhappy adolescent, battling anxiety years later.  How brutal life can be indeed!

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