As I was driving to Lincoln on I-80 this afternoon, I was thinking of Shahdi on the last day of her life. On that day I was leaving late for work to take care of a business for my parents, and saw Shahdi come up and open the refrigerator to find something for breakfast. She had her blue plaid pyjama pants on and a black sweatshirt. I said hello and goodbye and ran out the door as I was late. I had no idea that I would never ever again see her alive!
As these melancholy thoughts were filling my mind, my tears had started fogging up my vision. So, I scolded myself for crying while driving 80 miles an hour on the highway because I did not wish to cause an accident and be the agent of grief and sorrow for anyone. I did not care about my own life. In fact, I was thinking if I lost my life right then and there, who would I want to be in my greeting party in the other realm? Of course, Shahdi had to be at the head of the line, followed by my grandmothers (Mamani and Aziz), my parents-in-law (Ezat jon and Miriam joon), Amu Shahab, Khale Nahid, Khale Fakhri, and my grandfathers.
When I thought of my departed loved ones, I realized that death would not be bad at all if it would be a new beginning for meeting up with them all.
I will find out in due time but I just hope Shahdi will be the first one who would greet me and tell me:
"Mommy, I am glad you are home."
I love you Shahdi joon. Until we meet again my love.
As these melancholy thoughts were filling my mind, my tears had started fogging up my vision. So, I scolded myself for crying while driving 80 miles an hour on the highway because I did not wish to cause an accident and be the agent of grief and sorrow for anyone. I did not care about my own life. In fact, I was thinking if I lost my life right then and there, who would I want to be in my greeting party in the other realm? Of course, Shahdi had to be at the head of the line, followed by my grandmothers (Mamani and Aziz), my parents-in-law (Ezat jon and Miriam joon), Amu Shahab, Khale Nahid, Khale Fakhri, and my grandfathers.
When I thought of my departed loved ones, I realized that death would not be bad at all if it would be a new beginning for meeting up with them all.
I will find out in due time but I just hope Shahdi will be the first one who would greet me and tell me:
"Mommy, I am glad you are home."
I love you Shahdi joon. Until we meet again my love.
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