What I have learned in the past year - Part 2

Death - the Liberator

Instead of fearing death, I now understand it. I accept it. Really. I am now aware of its presence all the time. I know he can barge in at any time again, as an uninvited and detested guest who can easily pass through closed, locked, and shielded doors. There is no fighting him. He always wins the battle at the end. So, why fight it?  Just be aware of its real presence but try your best to live a full life, despite the ending.  Why? Because life is an experience with unlimited possibilities and scenarios. 

There is so much to see, hear, taste, touch, feel, say, and do in a lifetime that one should not waste any moment worrying about death.  Life should not be taken too seriously either and simply should be enjoyed, for whatever it is. The death of Shahdi has liberated me from worrying about trivial issues of everyday life. I am no longer bound by social obligations to do this or that. I am much more relaxed and don't take anything as seriously as before. Only life or death events are worth getting worried or anxious about. The rest will work themselves out whether I get nervous or not.

Most importantly, I was somewhat liberated from the boundaries and restrictions of a type A personality by realizing that there are many different ways to live and enjoy life. Neither going to college in pursuit of a high-paying job is the guarantor of happiness, nor skipping college and following your dream, whatever it may be, is the guarantor of failure in life. The best experiences of life are most cherished and valued if they are shared with people we love: family and friends. Beyond that, nothing is worth it. By the time we are converted to dust underground or in an incinerator, we will only be remembered by people whose hearts were somehow touched by ours. It is not our financial capital which would be important long after we are gone, but the social capital we left behind. Objects can be replaced but a kind loving beautiful soul, such as Shahdi’s, is irreplaceable. Once such treasures are lost, they are never attainable again.