Welcome to Setareh Makinejad's Blog!: 21st Birthday

My darling Shahdi, my beautiful child, my one-of-a-kind daughter,

Happy 21^st Birthday!

What a pity that you are not able to celebrate your twenty first birthday with your family and friends. Today’s gloomy and rainy weather matches the sentiments of my heart and soul on this special day, which could have instilled warm and happy feelings in all who love you, instead of sad and nostalgic ones. I wonder how you would have celebrated your 21^st birthday. Most likely you would have gone through the birthday rituals with your family as quickly as you could, so that you could join your friends for having lots of fun well into the night. I so wish you could have done what your heart desired on this special day.

When the hostess called the ‘December Babes’ to step forward at a party on Saturday night, I did not have the heart to step forward knowing that you were not there to stand by your parents’ side as the third December baby in our family. Both Mehrdad and I had stayed back, hoping to be forgotten, but the hostess did not relent and we eventually ended up standing next to a big group of December babies by the several cakes on the table. But, the entire time, I felt like a fraud, feeling like I didn’t belong there. It was difficult to pretend to be a part of a collectively happy and celebratory moment for all the guests, when my heart was filled with sorrow and longing for you, my beautiful December baby girl. It was painful to feel your empty spot on the dance floor as all the young people were having fun. I knew that if you had been there, you would have been the most beautiful young lady present and the most talented dancer as well. But, alas, life sometimes doesn’t go according to our plans.

It is still extremely painful to accept that you are gone from our sight forever and we will never ever have a chance to hold you in our arms, bestow kisses on your soft rosy skin, and caress your long black locks.

I found this picture of you from your 12^th birthday, just switching the numbers around and it would be today. How would you have looked in your 21^st birthday pictures? I wonder….