Halloween

How I miss you today on Halloween Shahdi Joon! This is the first year since we moved into this house that I have absolutely no Halloween decorations anywhere on display, not even on the kitchen table. How I used to look forward to Halloween because of you and Arman! Your excitement was catchy and exhilarating. Halloween used to be my most favorite day of the year because of all the happy activities that took place before and after it: costume and candy shopping, house decorating, pumpkin carving, having friends for dinner, trick or treating, handing out candy to the adorable children in costumes, watching Arman's bat flying on the front porch and the dry ice vapors coming out of his big black cauldron by the front door, playing spooky music outside through the intercom system in order to add to the effect of the bat and the witch's cauldron, and then watching you, Arman and the other children spread your bounty on the Persian carpet in the family-room and engage in the serious business of candy-trade!! How I miss those wonderful days which are forever etched in my memory! I wish life could have stayed still then.

I remember our first Halloween at our new house. You were 2.5 years old and dressed as a fairy princess. We took you and Arman trick-or-treating on Leesburg Street, right in front of our house. You were sitting in your little umbrella stroller and getting up to walk to our neighbors' door with Arman whenever we got to a different house. You were so shy and cute. I remember when I followed you to one of the houses, the main door was open and I could see three little boys behind the glass storm door. They looked like brothers between the ages of 2 to 5. I introduced you and Arman to the lady of the house and the boys, thinking that you might become friends later. And I believe you did because ten years later, those same brothers did a fantastic job of teepeeing our front yard!! It took us a few hours to clean the mess!

Many evenings when I take Toby for a walk, we pass by that same house. I sometimes see the brothers' cars parked in the driveway. I don't know if they are still living at home, or have finished college and returned home, or are still in college and just visiting home. I just know that every time I walk by their front door, my mind takes me back to the first Halloween in our neighborhood and the shy look on your face when I introduced you to those boys!

How time marches forward, ruthlessly and defiantly, without paying any attention to our protests, pleading for a slow-down.

Happy Halloween my lovely Shahdi. Halloween has lost all its zest for me without you. RIP.