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Tuesday, January 6, 2015

No More Hopes or Dreams

Remember the island I wrote about where the bereaved parents reside?   And its neighborhood with permanent cloudy sky and intermittent rainfall? I believe I am currently there. The non-stop storms have settled down, although jolts of lightening still occur every day at random times. One never knows when to expect it, because it can be triggered by anything: a smell, a memory, a sound, a tune, a picture, etc.  The tears still flow every day but not at the ferocity of the past, and rarely in public any more. Now, the floodgate of tears is mainly opened only in total solitude, at home or in my car, where the cries of pain and sorrow cannot be heard by anyone, where my voice fluctuates in intensity as my eyes fall on Shahdi's pictures and her artwork, or as my mind imagines her in different stages of growing up around our home. 

After a year, everyone expects me to have moved on. There exists less tolerance for my grief and sadness. Most wish to put this catastrophe behind them and move on. It may be easy for others to store Shahdi's memory in a corner of their mind which is not frequently visited, but for me, as her mother, it is impossible even if I had the least inclination to do so, which of course I do not. For me, Shahdi lives in my every breath and thought. I am never unaware of her absence. The only dream left for me is to see Arman happily settled with a job which would ensure his financial independence for the rest of his life, and with a person who truly loves him. Beyond that, I have no major desires or dreams left. Life has dealt bitterly with me and has crushed all my hopes and dreams. My only goal in life now is to focus on spending as much time as possible with my family and friends, those who truly care about me and have proven their love and loyalty to me over the past year when I needed their support the most. 

I am honest with myself and have always been a practical person. I know I will never feel truly happy again. However, I will try to demand happy moments from life while spending time in the company of my loved ones. If I see Arman happy and content, that will be enough for me. At least that would show me that I was not a total failure as a mother, a parent and a guardian.


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