It is not fair that I now am in the autumn of my life but my
beautiful intelligent daughter did not even make it to her spring. Indeed, life
is neither fair nor just.
I can see the majestic and glorious
full moon every month, but Shahdi cannot,
I can become inspired and dreamy by looking at the starlit sky at night, but Shahdi cannot,
I can recharge my soul by listening to great music, but Shahdi cannot,
I can walk on the fallen dry leaves on the sidewalk, but Shahdi cannot,
I can admire the beauty of the sun setting beyond the Nebraska corn fields in the evenings, but Shahdi cannot,
I can be awed by the purple and red colors of dawn in the horizon every morning, but Shahdi cannot,
I can see the flocks of birds flying south for the winter, but Shahdi cannot,
I can hear the rainfall on the rooftop, but Shahdi cannot,
I can feel the warming rays of the sun on my skin, but Shahdi cannot,
I can feel the chill of an autumn night's breeze, but Shahdi cannot,
I can watch the dancing leaves of the poplar tree in the backyard as the wind plays a tune through its leaves, but Shahdi cannot,
I can embrace Zander and plant kisses on his cheeks, but Shahdi cannot,
I can tease my tongue by dunking an Oreo into a glass of milk, but Shahdi cannot,
I can spend fifteen satisfying minutes with a ripe juicy pomegranate while uncovering its treasures, but Shahdi cannot,
I can order a #6 at Jimmy Johns as I used to do for my daughter, but Shahdi cannot,
I can become oblivious to the world around me for hours by crawling into a comfortable armchair with a good book, but Shahdi cannot,
I can get excited by receiving an unexpected call, hug, card, gift or a friendly gesture, but Shahdi cannot,
I can become inspired and dreamy by looking at the starlit sky at night, but Shahdi cannot,
I can recharge my soul by listening to great music, but Shahdi cannot,
I can walk on the fallen dry leaves on the sidewalk, but Shahdi cannot,
I can admire the beauty of the sun setting beyond the Nebraska corn fields in the evenings, but Shahdi cannot,
I can be awed by the purple and red colors of dawn in the horizon every morning, but Shahdi cannot,
I can see the flocks of birds flying south for the winter, but Shahdi cannot,
I can hear the rainfall on the rooftop, but Shahdi cannot,
I can feel the warming rays of the sun on my skin, but Shahdi cannot,
I can feel the chill of an autumn night's breeze, but Shahdi cannot,
I can watch the dancing leaves of the poplar tree in the backyard as the wind plays a tune through its leaves, but Shahdi cannot,
I can embrace Zander and plant kisses on his cheeks, but Shahdi cannot,
I can tease my tongue by dunking an Oreo into a glass of milk, but Shahdi cannot,
I can spend fifteen satisfying minutes with a ripe juicy pomegranate while uncovering its treasures, but Shahdi cannot,
I can order a #6 at Jimmy Johns as I used to do for my daughter, but Shahdi cannot,
I can become oblivious to the world around me for hours by crawling into a comfortable armchair with a good book, but Shahdi cannot,
I can get excited by receiving an unexpected call, hug, card, gift or a friendly gesture, but Shahdi cannot,
...And thousands of other experiences which
collectively make life worth living..
It truly is not fair that Shahdi can no longer experience or
feel anything but I, having passed the fifth decade of my life, still can!
Where is justice in this world?! Where???.............................
Why do I live to see, hear, breathe, taste, touch and feel when
my beloved daughter cannot? Why???...............................
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