In a different life, under 'normal' circumstances, we would have been celebrating Shahdi's 21st birthday next month on December 22nd. I had planned a long time ago to give her one of my favorite pieces of jewelry which was given to me by my mother. Unfortunately, this piece would remain unclaimed in my jewelry box as the one from last year, the blue sapphire ring I had exclusively ordered for her as a surprise gift for her 20th birthday.
This year, rather than throwing her a lavish birthday party and celebrating her official entrance into full adulthood, we instead have to undertake the heart wrenching task of selecting the tombstone for her grave, a challenging task which we have avoided for a year now. But, in all honesty, how are we supposed to order a tombstone worthy of such a beautiful, artistic and creative human being?! How can we select, from the limited options presented to us by the cemetery, a tombstone which would fairly represent our darling daughter?! It is impossible. Whatever we choose will not be worthy of the talented and intelligent young lady who is buried underneath.
Parents are expected to order birthday cakes and balloons for their offspring’s birthday, not tombstones. A world in which parents are put in the unfathomable position of having to bury their children is not a fair or just world. It is a flawed world; it is a poorly-designed world; it is a cruel world.
Had Shahdi been able to create a world of her own, I am sure it would have been a world full of love, harmony, justice, music, dance and laughter. It would have been a world in which all children would grow up happily to live a full life, and all parents would live to love and nurture their children. It would have been a world with no knowledge of depression, anxiety, disease, violence, abandonment, oppression, hunger and poverty. It would have been a world in which Shahdi would be content and comfortable, and flourish to her full potential.
This year, rather than throwing her a lavish birthday party and celebrating her official entrance into full adulthood, we instead have to undertake the heart wrenching task of selecting the tombstone for her grave, a challenging task which we have avoided for a year now. But, in all honesty, how are we supposed to order a tombstone worthy of such a beautiful, artistic and creative human being?! How can we select, from the limited options presented to us by the cemetery, a tombstone which would fairly represent our darling daughter?! It is impossible. Whatever we choose will not be worthy of the talented and intelligent young lady who is buried underneath.
Parents are expected to order birthday cakes and balloons for their offspring’s birthday, not tombstones. A world in which parents are put in the unfathomable position of having to bury their children is not a fair or just world. It is a flawed world; it is a poorly-designed world; it is a cruel world.
Had Shahdi been able to create a world of her own, I am sure it would have been a world full of love, harmony, justice, music, dance and laughter. It would have been a world in which all children would grow up happily to live a full life, and all parents would live to love and nurture their children. It would have been a world with no knowledge of depression, anxiety, disease, violence, abandonment, oppression, hunger and poverty. It would have been a world in which Shahdi would be content and comfortable, and flourish to her full potential.
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