Queen of Brownies

When Shahdi became a vegetarian in ninth grade, she slowly started experimenting with cooking simple food for herself. Towards the end, she had mastered a few dishes including ‘Thai peanut sauté’. She had learned the recipe from her brother but had slightly modified it to her taste. A few of her friends told me later how they loved her cooking. One of the dishes she prepared, which I really liked, was made with cauliflowers. She cooked a whole cauliflower, then mashed and mixed it with melted cheese, garlic, salt and pepper. It looked like mashed potatoes but the flavor was very different and distinct.  One of her favorite spices, which she liberally sprinkled on all her hot food, was garlic powder. Once she liked the taste of something, it would become her favorite.  Then, she would eat it regularly for a few weeks until she would get tired of it. At one point, baked potatoes with different toppings were her favorite and she would fix some for herself after school. I always kept a stack of frozen Lean Cuisine vegetarian dishes and pizza in the freezer. Every time I saw a new vegetarian dish, I would get it for her to try. Sometimes it was a hit, sometimes not. If she didn't like it, she would ask me not to buy it again. In fact, there are still a few of those entrees in the freezer because my beloved Shahdi did not have enough time to finish them all. So sad indeed…

​Shahdi was also the queen of brownies! She used to make these very rich delicious brownies with marshmallows and M&Ms on the top. Every time there was an event at school, Shahdi would stay up late, sometimes after midnight, to finish making her famous brownies. On such nights, I would go to bed with my nostrils filled with the soothing aroma of baked brownies and the temptation to stay up and have a warm one fresh out of the oven!  I never did that but now I regret not having done it. I could have kept Shahdi's company while waiting for the brownies to bake.  Unfortunately, sometimes we are so immersed in our daily chores and struggles that miss the special moments that are presented to us in life.  

For her father's birthday she used to make a special batch of brownies with marshmallows and walnuts. Mehrdad used to devour them!  Arman tried to keep the tradition by making brownies for his father's birthday last December but he had forgotten one of the main ingredients: the marshmallows!  In the last few years, no matter how busy she was, Shahdi would make every effort to present her father with a plateful of brownies on his birthday.  

I used to get upset finding a messy kitchen after returning home from work. I would complain and then would end up washing the dishes because I could not stand clutter in the kitchen. Lately though, Shahdi had become more helpful and cleaned up after herself. I now wish Shahdi could return and make brownies every single day of the week! If my wish could come true, I would have gladly cleaned the kitchen for her without uttering a single word! We sometimes forget to enjoy the present and tend to get distracted by unimportant issues. This also reminds me of when Shahdi had gone to Europe with her father a few years ago and while they were gone, the entire house remained tidy and in order as if no one lived there! By the end of the fourth week, I was so tired of the order and tidiness that at one point was thinking of messing it up deliberately!  When Mehrdad and Shahdi returned home, I eagerly was waiting for them to make some mess!

Life is indeed a learning experience above all! I wish I had been wiser and spent even more time with my children while they were growing up.