Far Away Family

When I left Tehran in the summer of 1979 to go to college in the US, I never thought that 35 long years later, my daughter, my flesh and blood, would be buried, 3.5 hours from my starting US location, in Lincoln, Nebraska!! Nothing in my life had prepared me for such an event. It was not supposed to happen to us, to me, to my child! I often wonder if Shahdi had grown up around her extended family, would her depression over the loss of her friend have lasted as long, or would it have been overcome by the love and support of grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and the other family members?
If Mehrdad and I were unable to help her, could another family member or members help her? It has been several years since I have seriously regretted not having had my family around while my children were growing up in Lincoln. I always felt sorry for my children for not being close to their extended family, for not spending enough time with their uncles, aunts, and cousins to get to know their personalities and to develop a strong bond and love, and for them to be known by them as they were by me and Mehrdad. Life did not extend us the option to live near our families, particularly since our family is scattered all over the world in four continents!

Had it not been for the aftermath of the 1979 Iranian revolution, we all would have returned home after finishing our higher education, and our children, most likely, would have enjoyed the same wonderful childhood that we experienced, surrounded by the unconditional love of our extended family, attending parties and gatherings every weekend, going on picnics on Fridays, not being able to feel down for long before someone attempting to lift your spirit and get you on a positive track again. I always felt that my children missed out on a lot by living so far away from their close relatives. Of course, now, it is too late for regrets. And, we really did not have a choice. We could not return home, and we had to go where we were offered employment as many people do, not only in the US but also around the world.

There are many factors which affect the upbringing of a child, and when something goes wrong, one cannot help but wonder if changing one or more of the variables could have had significant effects on the final outcome. One can only wonder….