Missing You

Dearest Shahdi,

I am so glad that I had the opportunity to share my socks, jewelry, scarves, belts, skirts, sweatshirts, headbands, hair products, makeup, perfume, yoga pants, hats, gloves, hair brushes, tapestries, vases, candle holders, etc. with you. Forgive me darling for losing my temper sometimes when I was looking for a specific thing in my drawers and found it missing. Forgive me for scolding you for not returning them to their original place after you were done using them.  How stupid I was indeed for getting upset over such trivial matters!

I would have given you everything I own and more, my soul, my life, if I could have you back.  If I could see you wearing my clothes one more time. If I could find my sock drawer half-open one more time. If I could find my robes missing from the bathroom one more time.  If I could find my makeup drawer in a mess one more time. If I could find the hair conditioner's cap on the shower floor one more time.  What value or significance have these material objects if I can't share them with you, my beautiful daughter? They were all yours to use or abuse.  I already had left enough of my carbon footprint on this planet; it was your turn to take over from me my dear.  

Why did you go sweetheart?  Why did you leave us?  How can we ever get used to not seeing you?  How can one get used to blindness after having enjoyed the gift of sight for twenty years?  It simply is impossible. One would never get used to it but would only learn to tolerate the pain and regrets.  You know how much I miss and love you darling...

19.5 weeks since the last time I laid eyes on your pretty face my child…RIP dokhtaram..