Reality of Dreams

Every night before I close my eyes, I say goodnight to Shahdi. I tell her how desperately I miss her. I tell her how much I love her. Sometimes I get more emotional and shed some tears in silence, not to alert Mehrdad because I do not wish to upset him by disturbing his mental equilibrium right before falling asleep. Last night, my emotions became overwhelming. Maybe because I had just heard about the sudden death of the son of a coworker, who happened to share Shahdi's birth year. While I was struggling to reign in my emotions, I begged Shahdi to comfort me by visiting me in my dreams. I told her I needed her. I needed her touch, her support, her love.  I asked her to come to  me. Shortly afterwards, I fell asleep.

Red Cardinal

Yesterday was Nowruz. The start of spring and the Iranian new year.  For hundreds of millions of people around the world, it represented a joyous event, the celebration of spring and a new year filled with possibilities. Alas, for me, it was a sad reminder of Shahdi's absence. I was not in a good mood the entire day. There was no enthusiasm for any of the Nowruz rituals. Had it not been for Mehrdad, instead of eating the traditional Nowruz dinner, we would have had leftovers. My melancholy mood continued during my commute home. When I pulled into the garage and got out of my car, I was immediately drawn to this delightful chirping coming from the top of a tree by our driveway. I stepped out, looked up, and there it was, a little red cardinal with a golden voice!  I was transfixed in place and mesmerized by its singing. I thought to myself maybe this little bird was a messenger from Shahdi, trying to cheer me up in this first hour of spring. What a nice thought! I wish thoughts alone could soothe a broken heart.